When many people think about leadership they think about the ‘big dog’ or the ‘alpha male.’ So what role does humility and listening play in leadership?
According to Jim Collins, the author of Good to Great (2001), humility plays a huge role in the MOST EFFECTIVE EXECUTIVES. He describes Level 5 leadership as the style which takes companies from being merely good to being great.
This is a rare phenomena. Such leaders are rare as well. Indeed, these qualities are very similar to servant leadership.
According to Collins, Level 5 leaders: “Build enduring greatness through a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will.” (p. 20)
Interestingly, Collins was shocked to find that Level 5 leaders did not have “high profile personalities were not celebrities, they were self-effacing, quiet, reserved, and even shy.”
Why does this matter? Because it will only be the great companies that will survive this depression, if you can call it that.
Without going through today’s headlines there is no lack of hubris among the stories of corporate indulgence and selfishness. This is why our topic this week was Humility, Listening and Leadership.
What did we learn from our discussion?
This economy is humbling to us all. We all have stories of loss of business, loss of jobs, loss of status, loss of money, even loss of houses.
We all have something to learn from this and we are learning.
Yet the question is what can you learn from being humbled?
Craig, a guest, made a powerful point: “When you are humbled you move out of your head and get back to your heart. When you operate from your heart it is where the servant in you comes through.” He elaborated that he thinks of his customers as hoping to finance their dreams and his job is to help them to express their dream of owning their own business.
Mark, a regular member, noted pithily: “Show up and listen.” That is the new sales strategy, discussed at a recent Ball State University conference on sales, instead of the old paradigm of “Show up and throw up” where the sales man simply tells everything he knows about the product and hopes to score a sale. Now it is about the relationship you form with people. That requires listening. Listening requires humility.
Joe a long time member and business owner pointed out that his goal is to have his company succeed him and his sons are in that company. He said he has always operated from a humble approach to people and he felt the same was true of his sons. This further reinforces that approach.
Matt, another regular, noted that he wasn’t raised to show humility or to ask for help for that matter: “Never let em’ see you sweat.” He has more recently been embracing humility and realizing he needs help from other people to borrow from their strengths. Yet admitting that you need help is hard.
Kathy had a story of how in college she learned to ask for help by working in a group. Again, it is hard and she was raised like Matt - don’t ask for help. Yet, we all need help today.
Doug pointed out that in humility are lessons about ethics, spirituality and morals. He had experienced enough of that to warrant an Ivy League Education! He also noted that the leader of the organization sets the tone for behavior in the organization: humility or bashing and blaming others, which do you choose?
Brian noted that he once had the distinct displeasure of being privy to a conference call in which he was lambasted. Yet, he took it as constructive criticism and learned from it. It stoked his fire to get better and he did.
As usual in BRN meetings, the conversation was rich and deep. It further clarified what is true leadership for us. Humility is absolutely essential. Maybe it is our Indiana values of humility over arrogance, but it truly seems deeper than that as Jim Collins study suggested.
My story involved a mentor of mine, Jim Miller, ACSW. He has been in central Indiana mentoring and shepherding social work and other agencies through transitions with great humility and perseverance. One of his most essential qualities and a companion to humility is that he truly listens. He listened to me as a 20 year old. My confidence burgeoned. He had a continuing impact upon me. Now, I as a 44 year old try to emulate the master and listen to hear what others have to share: clients, kids, customers, friends, my wife, my family whomever. I hope to grasp what I might be missing because we all need to find a new way to make our path through these treacherous times. The candor and humility people in our group showed in these discussions is a light in the darkness. We will make it through together, by listening and with humility.
Charles Shinaver, Ph.D. co-founder Business Roundtable Network (www.brncommunity.com)
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Am I the first?? Surely not? my act of humility this week, I was very very slow in responding to a prospect for a small office space. As in a three day response time. So slow that the client actually showed up, unannounced. I felt pretty bad about not getting back to him. Actually, he even mentioned that we was quite taken back by my slow response, especailly since we promote ourselves as serving the smaller office users. Being busy was just not a good enough excuse. I appologized, took him out for coffee, and we caught up a bit more. I may not get the business, but I did make a new contact, learned more about his buisness, and him about mine. Something may or may not come of it, but I did get reminded that everyone wants to be represented and at least feel like thier voice does count. I know I do...........
ReplyDeleteYep...that's humbling. And you get a big gold star for being the first! Thanks Javid!
ReplyDeleteI'll be the second. Two different stories. I will be as brief as I can.
ReplyDelete1. Like Javid I lag in my response time. One client who saw me several weeks ago is still waiting for me to complete an application for managed care. I just completed 98% of it yesterday. Very much 'my bad'. I was 'acting out' my ambivalence about getting on panels at all. I have to work through it and just 'git - r done'! Humbling, all on me. All on me to get this done.
2. A buddy of mine who is in BRN, Dave Kehlor, has humbled me in that he has 11 people going to a webinar in an organization for people who want to work out from home and also make money. So far I have 1! So, I am motivated to get on it and get some more. The webinar is tomorrow so I have to get on it.
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ReplyDeleteI've been working on the 6-year strategic plan for Purdue University. My specific work is with Purdue Musical Organizations where I was a member of the Purdue Varsity Glee Club for five years. This past Saturday, our strategic planning committee of 20 alumni, staff, and supporters met in Indianapolis for the day to finish a critical phase of the plan. A couple of the members of the committee are young and have no reference point for traditional values. They lack the understanding of the history of the organization. There were several times that I had to step aside and reserve comment because it would have undermined the efforts of those currently involved. Instead, I remembered our talk on humulity and the importance of listening. I now have a better understanding of their need to implement some of the changes I've fought against - especially when it comes to diversity and recruiting. I'm glad we had our BRN meeting prior to this meeting.
ReplyDeleteNice Brian.
ReplyDeleteI have a story about listening, to my son, who rarely stops talking...
The other day my son, Kian, who is 8, said:
“Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad?”
When he does that the last thing I want to do is listen, but I did anyway.
“Look.” He brought me to the kitchen, took out a magnet, a plastic covered wrench and a push pin. He held the magnet up about 1/3 of the way up the wrench. He held it there a few moments while held the push pin to the end of the wrench. Then he pulled the magnet away. The push pin wobbled, but stayed.
“Where did you see that? Science class? TV?” I asked as I paused with wonder.
“No I was bored and I just made it up when I was messing around in my room.”
“Really?” I was incredulous, but kicked back into teaching mode: “Did you know that the earth is magnetized?”
“Yes. And it has an invisible ring around it?” He said nonchalantly.
“Where did you hear that?” Again, I was taken with wonder.
“I just thought about it.”
I was really taken with this idea. “That’s an interesting idea. You mean because of the magnetism?”
“Yeah.”
So I got on the internet and I found this from Nov. 1, 1954 Time magazine article online:
“High above the earth's atmosphere, 6,000 to 11,000 miles above its surface, whirls a great ring of invisible gas. This is the belief of Geophysicist Sydney Chapman, formerly of Oxford. He cannot prove conclusively that the ring is there, but strong theoretical reasons have convinced him that it exists.
The ring is not made of dust particles like the rings of Saturn; it consists of hydrogen whose atoms have been ionized, i.e., broken into protons and electrons. The ring as a whole is electrically neutral since the amounts of positive protons and negative electrons are about equal, but the protons (for complicated reasons connected with their greater mass) move faster. This makes the ring, in effect, a current of positive electricity flowing around the earth.
According to Chapman's theory, the ring of gas (thinner than the "vacuum" in radio tubes) is formed by the action of the earth's magnetic field on streams of ionized hydrogen that blast out of the sun. As the protons and electrons from the sun approach the earth, they are deflected away from it by magnetic forces. Some of them settle into a ring above the earth's magnetic equator.*
Eventually, they escape, curving down to the atmosphere to cause certain kinds of auroras. Their departure weakens the ring current, but it is soon restored by new particles from the sun. “
It was my son’s ‘invisible ring around the earth’. The same idea had struck an Oxford Geophysicist, Sydney Chapman ‘formerly of Oxford’.
The only current writing I found on this was the concept of ‘dark matter’ another theory based upon something not substantially different from the ‘invisible ring’. Wonder and awe hit me. What a fascinating idea for a kid.
When we listen to our children we create the moments when they begin to take their own thoughts seriously.
This is when the nascent thinker is born. My dad likes to call Kian, “Dr. Kian”.
I know why.
"The invisible ring around the earth and my son, Dr. Kian the 8 year old geophysicist."
Charles Shinaver, Ph.D.
A friend of mine came over to tell me he had cancer several months ago. He wanted me to know that he had just begun chemo and would soon lose his hair. He was certain that he could beat the cancer and wanted me to hear that. He knew people would start to talk. He wanted me to hear his thoughts first hand rather than gossip. I sat and listed. I stopped short of asking, “What can I do”? He has a wife and older kids…He has a great family. I always tell him I want a family like his when I grow up. I really didn’t know what I could add to make him feel better. I thought for a while. I decided to start writing comedy for him. It was styled after Letterman’s gags before he brings out the first guest. There were funny captions with pictures. Multiple choice answers to topical questions…etc. I write 4 pages and stick it in his mail box.
ReplyDeleteHis wife just visited to say thank you. Through tears she said that he has been hit hard by the Chemo. The only time he smiles is when he reads my comedy. She heard him laugh and realized how much she missed hearing it She never realized how much she loved his laugh until it wasn’t there. She wanted to say "thank you".
I was moved. It felt beautiful. It was humbling. I wanted to create a diversion. I just didn’t realize the impact it would have. Sometimes we get so caught up in day to day petty drama. We don’t stop to realize that our issues pale in comparison to what others face.
It made me thankful for what I have.
My wife had this silly idea to hang tile up at our home over the counter and the wall next to the fridge and above the stove. While I insisted it was not something we should do, due to the fact that neither of us has any experience with this type of project and I am a computer guy not a handyman, she kept me positive by letting me hang the tile (and adding the cute little spacers) while she did the difficult task of cutting the tile and the spreading of the thin set to the right consistency. You know in the end I figured out that playing Lego's with my kids made our project go smoothly as I felt like I was building a Lego set one brick at a time, she kept me calm while telling me I was doing a good job even though I was off a little, but when we were finished I was humbled by the fact that my wife stayed positive through the whole project, even though she was just as nervous as I was!
ReplyDeletehope everyone is having a great week.
Martin Wilson
I was once again humbled by one of my children as I often am. During dinner last night, I was relating something interesting that happened on Facebook with some frineds. My daughter Karli (13) asked me why I spent so much time on Faceboook. I said because it keeps me connected with friends. To which she replied, "Well, if you ask me, you should be spending a little less time on Facebook and more time making money for our family."
ReplyDeleteOUCH!!! Now that, my friends, is a big piece of humble pie..something I'm still choking on as I write this.
Ok here is my story of humility from last week.
ReplyDeleteI was recently in a meeting with some new colleagues and when I was asked some questions that I should have known the answers to I was completely unprepared and proceeded to stutter and stammer and make a complete idiot out of myself. After apologizing for my poor response and fessing up that it was probably one of the most embarrassing moments I had ever experienced in my professional career, instead of shunning me, my colleagues actually rallied around me to see how they could help me overcome the obstacles I was facing. It could have been an all time low for me, but instead it was at that moment I realized we were all in this together AND decided I would buckle down and never be unprepared again. Its been a lot of long hours since then, but I feel comfortable I can go forth and complete the tasks that have been bestowed upon me.